LAW OF AVERAGES
February 1988--"Considering the amount of fancy equipment now seen in competition, some readers have complained loudly that the 'average guy' does not have a chance. It might be pointed out that this average guy never has had a chance. Competition is held to determine what is best, not what is average. And if all the equipment were standardized, the man who won would still not be in any sense average."

HOME DEFENSE
February 1990--"Of course the California gun ban is wrong in principle and should be repealed at the first opportunity, but if house defense is your primary purpose, do not overlook the Lupara--a short-barreled double 12-gauge shotgun with exposed hammers. If your object is to defend your hearth and home, you can almost certainly do it better with that than with an Uzi or an M16."

RIFLE ACCURACY
May 1990--"The search for the outer limits of accuracy in rifles is an interesting pursuit. Sometimes, however, one can lose sight of reality. A tack-driving rifle is fun to shoot and a pleasure to own, but in the field, accuracy which the shooter cannot appreciate is of no value at all. Owning a tack-driving rifle is like owning a 175-mile-an-hour car--a largely hypothetical delight.''

RELIGION
June 1990--"It appears that the Soviets are now going to allow prayer in school. One wonders how soon the United States will catch up."

Dangerous Game
October 1990--"We herewith nominate the hippopotamus, when taken on land, to replace the leopard as a member of the Big 5. The hippo kills more people in Africa than the leopard ever met, and while the cat is undoubtedly fast and scratchy, one bite from the hippo is conclusive. Certainly sinking him with a brain shot from a boat at 15 feet or so is not very sporting, but if you can arrange to get between him and water in the cold gray light of dawn, you can have all the excitement you want."

SEMPER FI
December 1991--"We learn, not much to our surprise, in the Age of the Wimp, that the copshrinks in general do not want ex-Marines in law enforcement. It seems that they are 'too aggressive.' Well, shucks!"

ARMED ROBBERY
February 1992--"We continue to be exasperated by the view, apparently gaining momentum in certain circles, that armed robbery is OK as long as nobody gets hurt! The proper solution to armed robbery is a dead robber. It is the responsibility of the victim to turn the tables and demolish the robber. Street crime will cease only when the perpetrator becomes convinced that his operations will almost surely result in his death."

PROTECTED SPECIES
January 1993--"Now that the tiger is protected in India and the white shark is protected in South Africa, Australia has followed suit and protected the taipan. Do you know about the taipan? It is probably the deadliest venomous serpent on earth. Well, we certainly have more than enough people. Now if we could just revive the Tyrannosaurus..."

FIGHT BACK!
November 1993--"Fight back! Whenever you are offered violence, fight back! The aggressor does not fear the law, so he must be taught to fear you. Whatever the risk, and at whatever the cost, fight back!"

THE PRISON SYSTEM
March 1994--"We note with some amusement a news item from Juneau, in which a man serving a life sentence for the murder of his wife was sentenced to two more years in prison for asking a friend to destroy the evidence. These two additional years were to be served after serving his life sentence. It would appear that the state will now be obliged to bury him in a maximum security grave after his death."

GUNWRITERS
February 1999--"These newfangled pop range finders are very humbling. It was decided long ago in the American sporting world that every hunter is morally bound to exaggerate the range at which he took his animal. This has resulted in the idea that, if you cannot deck your animal way out past Fort Mudge, you are a no-account. I have had students in rifle classes come up to me upon occasion, troubled by the fact that they did not seem to be shooting as well as they ought to. As a matter of fact, they were usually shooting very well. It was just that they had been reading too many gunwriters."

OLD AMMO
September 2001--"People who study these matters tell us that we should change our pistol ammunition about every six months. I suppose there is justification in that. But I have had occasion to use World War I pistol ammunition with complete success, though I would not suggest this as a policy to be pursued."

ON PETA
January 2002 - These PETA people, who have long been well on the way, have now gone completely round the bend, maintaining that sharks are attacking people out of revenge. That's what they said! We might ask them what the sharks revenged themselves upon before there were any people, but that would grant them unwarranted respect. As Bill Buckley put it, "I'd like to take you seriously, but that would be to insult your intelligence."